User blog:JKGame/EarthBound/Mother vs Persona: Epic Rap Battles of the Universe
Greetings, people, welcome to oh crud, this isn't Fire Emblem vs History! Well, I'm not too sure how it happened, but I was thinking about one of the matchups I was going to do that involved two series pitted against each other, and then this idea popped up when I started noticing a few parallels between Persona and EarthBound. I, of course, started to really like the idea and decided to do it. Choosing which characters to represent each series was a piece of cake. I just chose the three main protagonists of the three Mother games and the three protagonists from the last three Persona games. Why no Persona 1 and 2? Not even Atlus seems to give them much attention. They are referenced in some of the lines, so they're not going to be completely ignored. Joker will be appearing in another battle. One I've been planning way before this one. Let's get started! "The main heroes of the video game series EarthBound, Ninten, Ness, and Lucas, and the main protagonists of the Persona series, Makoto Yuki, Yu Narukami, and Joker, battle each other to see which niche JRPG with rather deep messages that takes place in the modern world featuring young people fighting enemies through magical means is superior." (Ninten is in purple, Ness is in violet, Lucas is in orange, Makoto is in blue, Yu Narukami is in yellow, Joker is in red, and when one team is rapping together, it's in bold.) Battle EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!!! NINTEN, NESS, AND LUCAS! VS! MAKOTO, YU, AND JOKER!!!! BEGIN! 'EarthBound:' Time to engage some loser teens! Why don't you pick on someone your own size? Looks like we got ourselves a delinquent, a nerd, and some emo guy! Get your baseball bats ready! We'll knock them right out of the park! Joker's running around in palaces, but we're the ones that are stealing hearts! Trying to find one pro about your games is like trying to find a seed in the desert! Seems you're more than just a Jojo reference when you're ripping off stand users! Don't start a War-wick with us! Like a certain skeleton, prepare to get Po-dunked on! You'll be more obscure than your first three games as if you were covered by a fog! 'Persona:' Sorry, but playtime's over, kids. It's clear that your loss is in the cards. 'Cause you'll face Mass Destruction once we're dropping Lotus Juice bars. Heard you use PK Fire in battles. So where was it in your raps? Isn't it obvious? It's only their friends who could actually do that! Guess their amount of disses are more limited than their entire inventory. We stood up and defeated gods, you're fighting lamps and a fat kid in your trilogy. You're about to choke as if you just got a taste of Mystery Food X. Time for an All-Out Attack! Let's crush this Peanuts gang! 'Ninten:' This isn't the Velvet Room, but it's still an elevator, 'cause you're going down! Stuck as a door after your death. Now who's truly EarthBound? Evoking your Persona by shooting yourself in the head? Ooh, how edgy! Stick to Bein' Friends with machines since you'll never date a real human being! 'Makoto Yuki:' I've been waiting for this. At least Aigis is a better robot than EVE. Stuck around with me 'til the end while yours couldn't make it in one piece. You came first in your series, but you're the third wheel of the Mother trio And to add insult to injury, you're the only one of the three who's still not in Smash Bros! 'Ness:' The FSteaks are high, Narukami! Yu can't compare to my Golden quips! Izanagi can't do jack sh*t when I have my Franklin Badge equipped!! It's time Atlus switch the channel and put this milked series on the shelf! How can your team Reach Out To The Truth if they can't even accept their true selves?! 'Yu Narukami:' Did Master Belch burp out your rhymes? Either way, they stink! I'm a gentleman getting all the ladies, maxing out my Social Links! You're so unoriginal you stole your predecessor's clothes and your friends' abilities!! Your biggest threat was some fetus! And I thought Mitsuo was being a baby. 'Lucas:' Hey, fancy graphics don't mean you're breaking new PK Grounds This Masked Man's now like his first boss, 'cause guess what? I'm taking your crown! Figured working with Sojiro would've taught you how to blow off some steam. Guess this Joker's insane like the DC one, living in a corrupt society. 'Joker:' I'm smooth and quick, infiltrating palaces. You're busy crying about your mom. Must suck during Christmas since Claus won't be visiting your home. Can't harm me with your Eight Melodies. I'm landing combos to the beat! Making the choice to fight me proves you've got a thicker Skull than Ryuji! 'EarthBound:' Okay, they're still at it! Even Mr. Saturn sounds smarter than these morons! Get SMAAAASHed by our PSI so hard you're sent back to the days of PS1! We've inspired game developers everywhere! Just ask the guys behind South Park! Makoto here's so bland we should've instead fought his female counterpart! These Maze Runners are Lost in our Labyrinth! Call this Persona Q2! Takes you half a day to drink some coffee! You'll be feeling Blaz-Blue Blue! You won't be Dancing All Night anymore when we unleash our Last Surprise! Submitting yourselves to Mr. Burns. Didn’t you learn about stranger danger, guys? 'Persona:' You think you’re PK Rockin’ it now, but your style's like the Runaway Five: broke. Shouldn't have provoked us. It's already a Dark Hour for these F.O.E.s. They’re even weaker than Buzz Buzz! One simple slap, and they collapse. You need an Atlus or something? You seem to struggle getting out of Japan! I'd rather listen to Teddie's bear puns than continue listening to your lines! Our company's still supporting us to this day! Even your creator's done with your franchise! We'd leave you in tears like him as well when your game was first rejected. But as they say in your commercials, no crying until the end. WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!!! Poll Who won? EarthBound Persona Scrapped References *You Call This An Utopia?! *Nanako *Colder than Mitsuru *Mother 4 and a "Nowhere" pun *Yukari missing stuff *Some pun with the Mega Beef Bowl as well as a portal to the meat dimension. *Something about dating a goddess AKA Marie *A "Rise" pun (Even though her name's pronounced differently.) *Homesickness *The EarthBound trio's absent fathers Category:Blog posts